Round Two: Washington Ovechkins vs. Pittsburgh Crosbys

Tonight I am all worked up about the Stanley Cup playoffs. Round one was the Washington Ovechkins vs. the New York Averys, now it’s the Crosbys vs. the Ovechkins in round two. Or that is what a casual observer may think.

If you are a casual observer or have no idea what I’m talking about, here’s the superstar super scoop.

Sean Avery is a punk who plays for the New York Rangers. He started the season as a punk for the Dallas Stars but after making inappropriate comments that embarrassed the management and the entire NHL, he was suspended from the league, released by the Stars and banished to the minor league. A desperate Rangers team picked him up right about the same time they fired their coach and replaced him with John Tortorella. During the first round of the playoffs with the Rangers, the only thing the commentators could talk about was the loose cannon Avery.

Sidney Crosby is a girly hockey sensation who plays for the Pittsburgh Penguins. He was the number one overall draft pick for them in 2005 and he’s their team captain and resident douchebag. He has been an NHL darling before he was even eligible for the draft, all eyes have been on him. The problem with him is that he knows all eyes are on him & uses a dramatic flair to try and draw penalties from his opponents. He such a superstar that his linemates often serve as his entourage when trouble starts. I have seen him fight and it is not pretty. There are some areas of the anatomy where you just don’t hit another man, no matter the circumstances. I have seen Sidney Crosby break the guy code on this one. I could go on but you get the idea. I am not a fan.

Alexander Ovechkin. What to say about the Great 8? He plays for my team and I’m afraid this is blasphemy around these parts, but I can’t help myself. I don’t like Ovechkin. He is also a superstar NHL darling but I will give him the credit that unlike Crosby, Ovie fights his own battles. Actually, I would say he is the opposite of Crosby in some ways. When someone messes with Crosby on the ice, the rest of his team comes to his rescue. On the Washington Capitals, when the other team messes with any of his teammates, Ovechkin will come to their rescue. I give him a lot of credit for that because when he is on the ice, all eyes are on him. Unlike Crosby, he appears to use his powers for good rather than evil (or whining, as the case may be.) Unfortunately, Ovechkin is like Crosby in that he is a product that the NHL is selling. People don’t come to watch the Washington Capitals play, they come to see Alex Ovechkin score an acrobatic goal and slam himself up against the glass. He is always at the top of the league stats. He scored 56 goals this season, more than any other player. This certainly makes him a standout, but he also had more shots on goal than anyone else in the league. With 528 shots on goal, that puts his shooting percentage at 10.6%, that makes him #155 in the NHL rankings. On his own team, he is behind Semin, Fleischmann, Green, Backstrom and Laich. 528 shots on goal is a hell of a lot of scoring attempts. The second highest number of shots on goal in the NHL was Eric Staal with 372. Ovechkin made 156 more attempts than the second highest player, and Staal played 3 more games than Ovechkin did. Ovie will take any opportunity he sees to score and don’t get me wrong, that is a good thing. You can’t score if you don’t shoot the puck. At the same time, it explains why he is such a phenomenon. Perhaps some of it is raw talent, but he works very hard, he’s an intense player and when you take that many shots on goal, you always end up with the amazing shots that miraculously cross the line. The lucky bounces, the strange angles and pushing the puck while he’s sliding on his face – they all end up on the highlight reels so that everyone can gush about what an amazing player he is. Having watched him all season, I am not as fascinated as everyone else seems to be. I have seen how hard he works for the empty net goals to pad his stats. I’ve seen him cherry pick when Backstrom and Semin set him up with perfect assists. I have also seen him steal a hat trick from Brooks Laich by taking an empty net goal in a 3-1 game against Toronto. Two of those three goals were Laich’s. That annoyed me greatly. Brooks Laich is one of my favorite players. He always gives 100% and is always a solid player. He and Nick Backstrom are two of the most consistently good players I have seen. We have a lot of talent on our team and some of the players who bring the most to the team are ignored next to the blinding glow of Ovechkin’s popularity. It’s not just those two either, we have an immense amount of talent on our team but if you are only listening to the commentators, game recaps and news stories you would think that Ovechkin was the only one who showed up to the game. Same goes for the Penguins and Crosby. How many casual hockey fans outside of Pittsburgh know who Evgeni Malkin is?

While I am not a fan of Ovechkin, I can not deny what he brings to my team. He is a great player and a popular player. The problem is not what he brings to my team, but what he takes away from it. 90% of the Capitals merchandise you see on the market has the number 8 or the name Ovechkin on it. The Verizon Center is packed with #8 jerseys and crowds shouting “MVP! MVP!” every time Ovechkin scores a goal. He is undeniably talented and no matter what team he was on, he would be an MVP nominee as he is this season – the same award he won last season. I am glad that the Capitals are selling out every game, and I am glad we have made it through the first round of the playoffs. I hope we go much further. But if we do, it will not be because Alexander Ovechkin singlehandedly played forward, defense and did some goaltending during the line changes. It will be because the Washington Capitals are a talented team with a brilliant coach who benched our dead-weight goalie before it was too late.

Give credit where credit is due, and as long as my team is in the playoffs, I will be cheering for the Capitals, not the Ovechkins. (And most certainly not the Mike Greens. Don’t even get me started on that!!!) It takes a solid team effort to win the Stanley Cup and if there is one standout player to take your team to the championship, it is never a forward, it is the goaltender. The Caps have an impressive new goalie but he doubled his NHL games played during the playoffs. We don’t yet know what he can do. On solid team efforts, I go with Boston Bruins and Detroit Red Wings for the Stanley Cup finals. When it comes down to goaltenders, I say Boston takes home the cup this year.

I hate to admit when I’m wrong, but I would love to see the Caps make me do it!

[Photo by Jason Cohn - Reuters]

My purse is smart

I was rushing out the door to go to work this morning when I heard a beeping noise coming from my unnecessarily large purse. It sounded like an alarm, but it was my cellphone dialing random numbers. It turns out I had unintentionally called a former roommate that I haven't talked to in months and made two calls to 850-800-800808085 and 080-850-80808. When I got to work I sent an email to my former roommate and apologized for calling her from my purse at 8:25 this morning. (I did not try to apologize to the other numbers.)

As I was crafting my email apologizing for the bad behavior going on in my handbag, it occurred to me that I have an extra ticket to the Capitals & Rangers playoff game this Saturday. I bought the ticket before we had clenched a spot in the playoffs, so the seller was letting go of his tickets at a fairly low price. At that time there was no guarantee we would even be playing. I had faith in my Caps and can't pass up a bargain so I bought the tickets and a month later find myself with no one to go with. I don't know too many people willing to pay money for a hockey game, there just doesn't seem to be a lot of hockey fans around and the ones I know are always broke. So this has actually been bothering me lately. It wasn't a big deal to put up the money and treat someone to a game during the regular season, but this is the playoffs. I couldn't bear to sit next to someone and have them ask about "quarters" and "halftime" (They are PERIODS, people! There are three of them.) or take the time to explain why teams pull their goaltender to put another offensive player on the ice. I like introducing new people to the game, but the playoffs are intense high-stake games. I want someone to be excited with!

It wasn't until the accidental phone call that I remembered that Missy was a hockey fan back when we lived together. In fact, she was a Rangers fan even when she lived in Iowa. So, I sent her the I'm-sorry-I-don't-know-how-to-operate-a-cellphone email and told her if she can make it to DC on Saturday I have a free ticket to the game for her. I just got off the phone with her and I have to say, I love my purse right now! She is excited about the game and is giving up her Mets tickets to drive out here with her boyfriend. I asked what he was going to do while we are at the game. She said, "I'm not worried about it." It's true there's plenty to do here and he has friends out here too. Still, it's funny. What a good guy.

Life is funny sometimes. I knew Missy was a Rangers fan but it didn't occur to me to call her since it's such a long trip to make in a weekend. I have always believed in the power of the subconscious, but I have never known the subconscious mind to operate a telephone before.

[edit: did I say the Capitals were playing the Rangers? After hearing the game 1 commentary, I amend that statement. What I apparently meant to say is: The Alex Ovechkin team is playing the Sean Avery team. There appears to be only one player on each team. The Ovechkins lost tonight, 4-3. Boo.]

Hockey Heaven!!

I'm sure most of y'all have heard a little something about the NCAA basketball tournament that just ended. March Madness has been and gone once again. Well, while everyone was filling out their brackets and watching college hoops, another sport was getting ready for their tournament. The college hockey championship, or the Frozen Four as it is appropriately called, will be in Washington, DC this year. It's the chance of a lifetime that I should be a short Metro ride away from the college hockey championship, but the tickets have been sold out since I moved here last year and they are selling on the secondary market for an arm and a leg. I have been wanting to go to this tournament so badly, and preparing myself for another disappointment of watching it on TV like I did the Winter Classic.

Nearly two weeks ago I watched the 16 best college hockey teams in the country on TV for the beginning of the tournament to narrow it down to four teams. I had no favorite team, no dog in the fight but I was on cloud 9 watching these college athletes play their hearts out. There was last-minute goals, double overtime, a puck actually went through the net and wasn't called a goal until they had continued to play another five minutes... the quarter finals were incredible and I have been trying so hard to find tickets in my price range for months. I was hoping that more tickets would be available after 12 teams were eliminated, but it didn't work out that way. I was bidding $100 on eBay for pairs of tickets that ended up selling for $300 and $400. Way out of my price range. I wanted to go badly enough to spend money I don't have and I started to doubt my better judgement when I found 4 tickets on eBay for $250 Buy-it-now priced. I jumped at the chance knowing I could sell 2 of the 4 and recoup my money, but this all happened yesterday at 5:00. The tournament starts tomorrow at 5:00 I had exactly 48 hours to get the tickets from Colorado, then turn around and sell them before the Frozen Four began. I felt a little sick to my stomach letting go of that $250, but the tickets have been so expensive, it was a pretty safe bet that I could sell the tickets and get some money back. Still, I had no control over the shipping and didn't have a buyer yet, so I was freaking out a little bit. Just a little.

Well, I'm still freaking out but this time it's because I can't believe I'm going to the tournament! I listed the tickets on craigslist, two tickets for $250 and immediately found a buyer. So, to clarify - here is the math. I bought four tickets for $250, kept two of the tickets and got my $250 back for the other two. I still have two tickets and the same amount of money I had when I started. Free tickets!! That is exactly what I could afford to pay!!

Technically, they weren't free. I paid $5 for shipping and gave someone $3 for Metro fare to deliver the tickets to the buyer. In the end I guess I paid $8 to go to this tournament. So, about the price of lunch. The tickets are for the two semifinal games and the final championship. There are four teams left. Tomorrow at 5:00 I will watch Boston University vs. Vermont and at 8:30 Miami (ohio) vs. Bemidji State. The winners from those two games will play for the championship game on Saturday.

I am taking a friend from Boston to the finals, so he's hoping Boston University wins the championship. The person who bought the two tickets next to me did his undergrad at Bemidji State - the underdog of all underdogs in this tournament. Personally, I liked Vermont's team and would love to see a Vermont vs. Bemidji State for the championship, but now I'm just babbling. Really, I just wanted to watch great hockey and I have some really great seats for what is going to be an awesome tournament. Did I mention I paid $8 total for the tickets??

I'm still waiting to find out what's the catch. Could I really be this lucky? I can't wait for this tournament!!!!

It's March!

I'm not gonna lie, I'm phoning it in this time because I haven't written in a while and I want to keep this up at least once a month. I have also found a new motivation to blog in the form of passive-aggressive voicemails from my father. "Hello? I don't know if you remember me, but this is your father... my phone number is..." Yeah, I get it Dad. I remember you - the guy who would never buy me a pony. Okay, okay - how many "Are you dead?" messages do I need to hear before I get my arse in gear and update my blog? Hopefully no more. I will do my best to pop in with an anecdote every now and then just to let you know I'm alive. Perhaps something like this little gem:

I try to avoid Dentists as much as I can, even after they tell me I have cavities. Since I don't have money, I just put it on my to-do list until a later date. When it hurts to brush my teeth, it starts to become a priority. It was way past time to just grab my wallet and head to the doctor. So I did.

I went to my dentist and told him it hurt and we went through the whole drill.
*tap*tap* does that hurt?
No
*tap*tap* how about there?
No
*tap*tap ho..
YEOOWWW! Yeah. That one hurt a little.

Turns out I had an exposed nerve. It didn't hurt unless something touched my molar right on the gumline. Something like a toothbrush or an evil masochistic dentist. Since there is a huge filling on that particular molar he said he'd pull out the filling and put a crown on it. If the crown doesn't cover the nerve and it still hurts for a couple months, I may need to go to an endodontist and get a root canal. Sounds expensive.

I thought about it for a couple of days and was not crazy about going through a couple months of pain to find out if I need a root canal. Since it already hurts like hell, the process of getting the crown done sounds more painful than a root canal. So, I jumped rank and went to an endodontist recommended by a coworker. Before I did anything with my molars and naked nerves, I wanted to consult with the endodontist. I went in before work one morning, went through the whole *tap*tap* nonsense again and here's how that conversation went:
Doc: If it hurts that much now, a crown isn't going to make it go away. I think you're going to need a root canal either way. Do you want to just do it now?
Me: *sigh* Yeah, I guess so.
Doc: [stands up] Okay. I'll go get the novacaine. It'll take you a few minutes to get numbed up and then we'll go in and...
Me: Whoa! You mean NOW now? Like, right now?
Doc: [reaching for a gigantic needle] Well yeah we have time. If you need some time to think about it you can make an appointment to come back.

I'm thinking - What the hell is this place? Jiffy Lube? You walk in and twenty minutes later you get a root canal? I came in on a Monday morning to find out if I needed a root canal. Then I expected to make an appointment. Perhaps mentally prepare myself for the agony that comes with oral surgery. Now I have this endodontist sharpening his needles getting ready to drill through my tooth? I am never comfortable in making snap decisions. Especially on something involving doctors or a great deal of money, and this happened to involve both. I sat there for a moment, breathed heavily and realized that I was eventually going to end up back in this chair one way or another. At least this way I didn't have to take more time off work. So, he gave me the novacaine shots, I sent a text message to a coworker:

Plz tell boss my appt. will take longer than expecting. Getting root canal today.

And then he did it. I got a root canal at the drop of a hat.

Hah! I finished up and it's still March! I'll be back next month!

Alive and Zipping

Things in DC have died down since the inauguration and it's back to business as usual. A bad economy and a lack of good subject matter have kept me away from the blog recently. I'm hoping for an adventure next week when I drive to see a Bloodhound Gang concert. Arranging the road trip alone was a bit of an adventure, but a promising one. The concert is close to Baltimore, far from the leash that has tied me to the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority since I moved to the city. I love DC and I love how easy it is to get around without having a car, but I couldn't pass up the chance to see my favorite band again. The show is on Monday, February 16th and I've had tickets for months, but I was weighing my options for finding transportation to the concert. I decided it was time to sign up for a Zipcard.

A Zipcard is a great thing and probably new to those of you far away from a major metropolitan area. Around here it's no big deal, it's just a plastic card (like a credit card) that you use to unlock cars. I realize how ridiculous that probably sounds if you're new to this concept, but I assure you it's entirely legit. It's a car-sharing program and they have hundreds of cars located throughout the city. Once you have an account, you go online and reserve any available vehicle and if it's available, you take it for a spin. If you just need to run to the grocery store, you can rent a zipcar at an hourly rate, or you can rent it for the entire day. It's incredibly convenient, although it is a bit gimmicky. Members are referred to as "zipsters" and each vehicle has its own name and personality. I will be driving Matrix MacDaddy to the concert. I'm really looking forward to meeting this apparent Scottish Toyota. Who knew?

I signed up to be a zipster just for the concert, but I have to admit that the program makes me feel a sense of freedom I didn't have before. There are about 6 zipcars within a couple of blocks from my apartment and they have their own reserved parking spots. Now when I get home from the concert after midnight I don't have to worry about the Metro being closed or having to drop off a rental car at an airport somewhere, I can park my car a block away and get right to bed. Since I'm signed up and have my Zipcard, I can now reserve any car I want whenever it's available. That means if I'm at home watching a Taco Bell commercial and get a sudden craving, I can log onto the Zipcar website and hop in the car right outside and run through the drive-thru. Of course, that also means a bottom line of over $10 just for a bean burrito and some cheezy potatoes, but I must admit that there have been some nights when an accessible Taco Bell would be worth twice that much money.

In all likelihood, I will not have the budget nor the poor judgement to get a $10 burrito late at night, but I will celebrate the freedom of knowing I can do so. In the few months I've lived in Washington I really have been a slave to the Metro system and this gives me access to so much more of the city. It's not as cheap as the Metro, but the prices are pretty reasonable when compared to the price of owning a car and paying for fuel and insurance. I can't wait to see the BHG in concert on Monday and I am so excited to be able to drive again!

If you are reading this and you are in an area where they have Zipcars, I added a link to the Zipcar site where you can save $25 if you sign up. While I think it's a great program, the promo on this blog entry is completely selfish on my part. If you use the promotional code to sign up for an account, I'll save money on my account too.

Things to see and do in Washington

The weeks to come are going to be busy out here in Washington. There's a big event, perhaps you've heard about it. It's on January 20th and it's called Incredible-Nuisance-And-Unusual-Gathering-U-Really-Aughta-Think-Intensely-of-Nomadizing; most commonly referenced by the acronym INAUGURATION.

[Okay, nomadizing was a stretch, but "not being around" would ruin the acronym. ]

I am truly afraid of the crowds that will descend upon this city next week. I do not have to work either of my jobs, as most employers do not expect their employees to be able to travel to work that day. Even the bookstore is closed for inauguration day. When a retail outlet closes the doors on a day they could make a ton of money, that says something about the chaos to come. I have four days off of work and was considering a trip to NYC but the budget is busted after Christmas. I also have friends from Iowa coming in for the inauguration so it'll be nice to see them and catch up. The next couple of weeks will be busy.

Tomorrow I have tickets to see the Washington Capitals play the Boston Bruins. I'm sorry to admit I've become a degenerate gambler since I got here and I made a bet on a hockey game with a Flyers fan last month. The Flyers beat the Capitals 7-1 and to pay up on my bet, I had to buy the tickets to the game tomorrow. So, I will be at a Capitals game with a Flyers fan watching the Bruins play my team. Makes sense? No. This is why you should never gamble. You'll be out $30 like me.

The aforementioned Flyers fan lives in Virginia Beach but works in DC at times. I don't really know him that well, but I am so desperate for hockey friends that I overlook the Flyers thing. (Actually, five of my hockey fan friends are for other teams... Devils, Islanders, Hurricanes, Flyers, Bruins. Damn. I need new friends.) Anyway, Flyers Fan is in the Navy and tomorrow he invited me to go with him to Arlington National Cemetery before the game.

He had told me a few weeks ago he was coming up to put flags on some graves at Arlington and today he invited me to come along. Knowing that he's in the military, I wasn't sure how to respond. I asked if they were friends of his and he said a few members of his team were killed in Baghdad in 2007. When he comes up here he always tries to stop in Arlington. It seems like such an intensely personal thing and my first reaction was not to go. He said it was just a quick visit, "nothing mushy," and he asked if I have ever been to Arlington before.

The truth is, I have lived here for six months and I have not been to Arlington Cemetery. I have not been a lot of places yet, for that matter. So, I will work on changing that starting tomorrow. It's supposed to be cold, so I don't think it will be a long visit, but I'm interested to see how things are going to go. My first visit to Arlington will be with a member of our armed forces, visiting some of his fallen comrades. My first reaction was to stay away from this personal occasion. After some serious consideration, I can't think of a better way to see the grounds. I have quite a few friends and loved ones who are in the military or are veterans. I could have taken a tour of Arlington Cemetery at any time as a tourist but I never did. In a way, I am kind of honored to be able to see the cemetery like this rather than in a group of tourists, gazing at identical gravestones while paying my respects. I'm a little glad I haven't rushed out to see the sites in DC.

TV ads are bad for your health

I didn't believe it was possible, but this television commercial actually causes me physical pain. There's nothing wrong with the ad itself; it's quite good actually. I just haven't had this feeling since I was seven years old. I watch the NHL Network, they show the commercial and I want to go so bad, it hurts. I'm instantly transformed into a kid again. All I can think is "I WANT THAT!!!" I want it SO BAD I'M GOING TO DIE IF I DON'T GET THAT FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!

What is this all about? Well, there is a hockey game on New Years Day in Wrigley Field. Yes, baseball season is over so the Chicago Blackhawks and the Detroit Red Wings are taking over Wrigley while the Cubs are away. It's going to be awesome and the Blackhawks actually have an impressive team this year. At the time of this post, they are only 5 points behind the Stanley Cup champion Red Wings with one game in hand. I realize that probably doesn't mean much to you non-hockey fans, so I will put it to you like this: in recent years, the Cubs have made the playoffs more often than the Blackhawks.

Speaking of non-hockey fans, I would like to know how many such people have tickets to this game. I have a hell of a time meeting anyone who gives a crap about hockey, but somehow there is a sold-out crowd willing to watch an outdoor hockey game on January 1st in the Windy City. Tickets on the secondary market are selling upwards of $250, and that includes seats on the rooftops. Who are these people paying money to freeze their arse off watching hockey? If they are that rich, could they buy me a ticket? I don't even need a seat. I could just lay down on the feet of the rich people and keep them warm. As long as I could see the game, I'm willing to make myself into a human foot-warmer for the rich folks. (Maybe I should put that on eBay or Craig's list... "human foot-warmer available for Winter Classic in Chicago.")

Okay, chances are I will not be able to sell myself as a human foot warmer, I will not get to see the Blackhawks play at Wrigley, and I will not die - just like I didn't die when Santa didn't bring me a pony or a little sister. But I will continue to weep every time I see that awesome commercial, and I will curse everyone who goes to this game and leaves early because it's "too cold." My friends and I would love to go to this game. We are true hockey fans - we would be in heaven to sit outside and get frostbite watching an outdoor hockey game. Unfortunately, we have that other trademark characteristic of most hockey fans - we can't afford $250 for a ticket.

So, have fun rich people! Buy yourselves a copy of Hockey for Dummies, memorize it, then you can set it on fire to keep warm in between periods. Because hockey is a cold weather sport, it moves fast and it's the greatest game on earth.

Go Hawks!!