Veterans Day, Observed

On Memorial Day this year I wrote about my incredibly moving experience at the Vietnam War Memorial. I like to think that I appreciate America's Veterans and support the troops every day of my life, but this year I have made a conscious decision to spend my day off on Memorial Day and Veterans Day paying my respects and using my day off to observe the holiday as it was intended. Which, as it turns out, has nothing to do with barbeque.

On Tuesday I mentioned to a coworker that my plan was to visit Arlington National Cemetery on Veterans Day. I didn't necessarily want to go for the wreath-laying ceremony, but I wanted to pay my respects at the final resting place of so many of America's heroes. She was interested in coming with me so we coordinated and met at the Cemetery in the afternoon.

Neither of us have a personal relationship with anyone who has been buried at Arlington. I have only been there once before and for my previous trip I had the honor of going with someone in the Navy who was visiting members of his team who were killed in Iraq. This time I had no one in particular to visit, and the aforementioned Sailor is currently back on another deployment in Iraq. So many friends and loved ones were in my thoughts and in my heart on this day already, I fully expected my trip to Arlington to be an emotional experience. I had no idea that the most moving moment on this day would come from my coworker.

She was especially interested to visit the Cemetery for the first time. She has only been a U.S. Citizen for about a year, but came to the U.S. from Romania twenty years ago. She is an amazing person and she appreciates her U.S. citizenship more than anyone I have ever known. I suppose living under Communist rule will have that effect on a person.

We arrived to Arlington in the afternoon and decided to venture out on our own rather than join a tour. I was concerned that she would want to leave quickly because of the rain, but the weather may as well have been 75 degrees and sunny with how enthusiastic she was to walk the hallowed grounds of the Cemetery. We walked to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and she took a photograph and wiped the tears from her face. After that we set off walking, nowhere in particular, just walking past the numerous grave stones and paying our respects as best we could. The rain came down, the temperature became colder, and through it all, we walked. As the winds came and tried to claim our umbrellas, we held on tight and walked along quietly. Acutely aware that our battle with the elements was no sacrifice at all compared to the experiences of men and women in uniform, their families, and the men and women whose names surrounded us. Walking silently with no one aware of our presence but the fallen heroes long gone, we swelled with respect and awe for the losses our country has suffered.

As we walked along and commented on names, graves and inscriptions, Cristina carried a small American flag and looked for somewhere to direct her symbol of respect and appreciation. As I continued to walk and wrestle the wind for control of my umbrella, she fell behind a bit, and when I turned to look back, she was paused before a grave stone along the path. She knelt down on the wet earth, put her hand on the stone so tenderly, as if she were caressing a member of her own family. She drove the flag into the earth and said, "Thank you, Major Young - for fighting for me." She stood up, dusted herself off, and leaned over and kissed the top of the gravestone before turning to continue down the path.

It was the most beautiful gesture I have ever seen. One woman with no personal ties, sharing an intimate moment at the final resting place of someone who will forever remain anonymous. To everyone who has served or is currently serving in the U.S. Armed Forces - never doubt the effect your sacrifices have made. It has become a catchphrase in popular culture for everyone to "support the troops" but today I saw with my own eyes how deeply this support is felt by someone who still has emotional scars from living with communism and fascism in her own life. Someone who truly appreciates her freedom and her citizenship in ways that I will never understand, but am so privileged that she has shared part of her story, and her Veterans Day, with me.

Memorial Day, Observed

When you see the Wall for the first time, you are awe-struck by the visual simplicity of a memorial for something so complex as the Vietnam War. It is simply a wall etched with names, chronologically, of those who were killed or missing and unaccounted for in the Vietnam War. The size of the wall and the overwhelming number of names has a profound effect. Most people my age have learned about the Vietnam War through history classes or from watching action-packed Hollywood films. Some of us may have heard accounts from those who were there, the experiences they went through; or even from those who did not serve, but have stories about others who did. Anyone with an elementary education in American history knows of the Vietnam War, the protests, the political unrest, and the shameful way our country neglected the returning service members.

Like most historical events, one can never fully comprehend without having lived through the event and seeing it with their own eyes. Could you effectively describe the events of September 11, 2001? I was in Iowa on 9/11, far from New York City, the Pentagon, or Pennsylvania; yet I will never forget the day. I sat in front of my television all day with friends and loved ones, trying to grasp the reality of what we were watching. It was a surreal experience from halfway across the country. When I hear stories of those who lived through it, I feel the emotional connection between the events I watched fearfully on television, and the experience of those who saw it firsthand. Everyone remembers where they were on 9/11. But, in ten years, will you be able to explain to an 18 –year old, exactly what happened in this country? If you were in NYC or if you were in Iowa, or if you were in Oregon, I don’t believe there is a way to make someone who has no emotional perspective truly understand what happened on that day.

Unfortunately, that is the same disconnect I have with the Vietnam War. The facts I have learned over the course of my life, the people I have talked to about their experience, be it in the service or just growing up and knowing that their neighbor left and never came home – as much empathy and respect as I feel, I know that I will never truly understand what it meant to have lived through that time. I think that is the case for most people my age. We know the facts, but will never understand. That is why the Wall is such a moving experience.

Of all the facts that have influenced my understanding of the Vietnam War, nothing I ever learned in a textbook, saw in a movie or even heard from a Vet that had the same effect as seeing those 58,261 names etched into nearly 250 feet of the Wall. It is the first time I understood the impact and devastation of what happened in Vietnam.

250 feet of wall… 70 inscribed panels, each with up to 137 lines of names. Each of those names represents a member of the U.S. military lost in battle. 58,261 service members never to be seen again by their parents, husbands, wives, children, neighbors, friends, relatives… who now have a name on a wall to remember their loved one, and to remind the rest of us of our country’s history.

I’m sure everyone who visits the wall has their own unique experience and understanding of the memorial. For me, it has not been any one individual, but the magnitude of seeing all of those names as the list goes on and on. Having no personal connection to any one person memorialized on the Wall, it is the overall structure and the collection of so many names that makes it so breathtaking. Many people come to the Wall to visit a loved one and see their name, perhaps leaving behind a card or flower to show that the person is still in their heart. For me, it is the list of names as a whole that I have always found so moving.

Until yesterday

On Memorial Day that list of names comes to life. On any given day you may find a card or a flower lain in front of the panels. On Memorial Day, I saw more than a daunting list of names with some cards and flowers. I saw letters written by friends and family, mementos left by those who served alongside the men and women fated to earn their name on the wall. A pack of Marlboro Reds, a picture of a the American flag drawn in crayon by a youngster, the words “Miss you, Daddy!” on a photo of a man holding a baby – and the realization that the infant in the photo is probably now older than me but still feeling the loss of her father.

On the last Monday in May, we take a day out of our regular work schedules in remembrance of the men and woman who paid the ultimate price for our freedom. I have always had the utmost respect for those who wear the Uniform of the U.S. Armed Forces. The time I spent in D.C. over Memorial Day weekend has deepened my respect, not only for those who have served, but the families they leave behind.

Things to see and do in Washington

The weeks to come are going to be busy out here in Washington. There's a big event, perhaps you've heard about it. It's on January 20th and it's called Incredible-Nuisance-And-Unusual-Gathering-U-Really-Aughta-Think-Intensely-of-Nomadizing; most commonly referenced by the acronym INAUGURATION.

[Okay, nomadizing was a stretch, but "not being around" would ruin the acronym. ]

I am truly afraid of the crowds that will descend upon this city next week. I do not have to work either of my jobs, as most employers do not expect their employees to be able to travel to work that day. Even the bookstore is closed for inauguration day. When a retail outlet closes the doors on a day they could make a ton of money, that says something about the chaos to come. I have four days off of work and was considering a trip to NYC but the budget is busted after Christmas. I also have friends from Iowa coming in for the inauguration so it'll be nice to see them and catch up. The next couple of weeks will be busy.

Tomorrow I have tickets to see the Washington Capitals play the Boston Bruins. I'm sorry to admit I've become a degenerate gambler since I got here and I made a bet on a hockey game with a Flyers fan last month. The Flyers beat the Capitals 7-1 and to pay up on my bet, I had to buy the tickets to the game tomorrow. So, I will be at a Capitals game with a Flyers fan watching the Bruins play my team. Makes sense? No. This is why you should never gamble. You'll be out $30 like me.

The aforementioned Flyers fan lives in Virginia Beach but works in DC at times. I don't really know him that well, but I am so desperate for hockey friends that I overlook the Flyers thing. (Actually, five of my hockey fan friends are for other teams... Devils, Islanders, Hurricanes, Flyers, Bruins. Damn. I need new friends.) Anyway, Flyers Fan is in the Navy and tomorrow he invited me to go with him to Arlington National Cemetery before the game.

He had told me a few weeks ago he was coming up to put flags on some graves at Arlington and today he invited me to come along. Knowing that he's in the military, I wasn't sure how to respond. I asked if they were friends of his and he said a few members of his team were killed in Baghdad in 2007. When he comes up here he always tries to stop in Arlington. It seems like such an intensely personal thing and my first reaction was not to go. He said it was just a quick visit, "nothing mushy," and he asked if I have ever been to Arlington before.

The truth is, I have lived here for six months and I have not been to Arlington Cemetery. I have not been a lot of places yet, for that matter. So, I will work on changing that starting tomorrow. It's supposed to be cold, so I don't think it will be a long visit, but I'm interested to see how things are going to go. My first visit to Arlington will be with a member of our armed forces, visiting some of his fallen comrades. My first reaction was to stay away from this personal occasion. After some serious consideration, I can't think of a better way to see the grounds. I have quite a few friends and loved ones who are in the military or are veterans. I could have taken a tour of Arlington Cemetery at any time as a tourist but I never did. In a way, I am kind of honored to be able to see the cemetery like this rather than in a group of tourists, gazing at identical gravestones while paying my respects. I'm a little glad I haven't rushed out to see the sites in DC.