Drive by

I have been studying for the GRE and have neglected to write anything for the blog this week. So instead, here's a picture I took in Costa Rica last year while stuck in traffic:

Undergarments overanalyzed

I don't get it. The question is not so much why would a pair of underwear say that, but more importantly: Who are they talking to? If you are unable to see the photo above, it is of a pair of Victoria's Secret boy short panties and the backside says, "Your boyfriend says Hi."

I'm not sold on the idea of grown women wearing underwear that talk, but usually they say things that make relative sense. For example:

"Total Fox", "Above Average", "This is perfection." These are self-referential and they describe the object inside of the underwear. It is the garment equivalent of the "My son is an honor roll student" bumper sticker. When you see that, you know that proud parents are inside the car. Same principle. But "your boyfriend says hi" is just confusing. Is he inside of there?

Under what circumstances will someone see you in your underwear whose boyfriend will also see you in said panties? Are you sleeping with bisexual men who are in a relationship with each other? I suppose you could moon people while wearing your VS boy shorts, or simply hurl them at someone to let them know that you're moving in on their man. All of these things are extremely ill-advised.

In this age of web 2.0, why anyone would use panties to communicate a message to a third party is beyond me. That doesn't seem very practical. The only thing you need on the back of your underwear is the days of the week. Sunday through Saturday, baby. Just make sure they are clean.

Metro advertising - overanalyzed

When I see the words, "...your life depends on it" next to a photo of a vigilante serial killer, I take that threat seriously. As in, if I do not get my ass to the Reston Town Center for the Light the Night Walk, I will be chopped up into tiny pieces and disposed of discreetly. This is the visceral reaction I have when I see this billboard.

To be fair, it does say "Michael C. Hall" under his photo, and not "Dexter Morgan." The actor is a Cancer survivor after undergoing treatment for Hodgkins lymphoma, making him a perfectly appropriate and passionate spokesperson for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. This information brings a new level of respect to the message, "Walk because someone's life does," when coming from the actor.

The problem is, if you conduct a man-on-the-street interview and ask people to identify the person in the picture, I'm guessing the majority will recognize him as either a serial killer or a mild-mannered funeral director. If you think that the general public is able to disassociate actors from their characters, talk to Entourage's Rex Lee. If he lives to be 100 years old, he will forever be greeted with shouts of "Lloyyyyyyyd!"

The advertisement is really quite brilliant. Between Michael C. Hall's personal life and his on-screen persona, the message can be deconstructed as:

WALK as if your life depends on it. Because if you don't, Dexter will find you and kill you.
WALK because someone's life does. No really though, Michael C. Hall is a Cancer survivor and this is a very serious disease. It's the right thing to do.

Ten years later

Tonight I was fortunate to attend an event at the Newseum in honor of the ten year anniversary of 9/11. Charles Gibson was the moderator of a panel of guests, including Ari Fleischer, who was George W. Bush's press secretary at the time; Victoria Clarke, who then served as the Pentagon spokesperson; and Jim Miklaszewski, chief Pentagon correspondent for NBC News and the first person on the scene to report that the Pentagon had been attacked.

The panelists each gave us their recollection of where they were when they first heard the news of the first plane hitting the World Trade Center, and how the events unfolded thereafter. Charles Gibson also told of his experience as anchor of Good Morning America that morning. Each of them were in the unique position of being called upon to explain to others what had happened, while they themselves were finding out with the rest of the country. And not always receiving accurate information. I think Ms. Clarke summed it up the best at the end of the evening by repeating a quote by Daniel Patrick Moynihan after the Kennedy Assassination. "We will laugh again, but we will never be young again." She thought to herself as she drove past tanks on on the Key Bridge on her way home that evening, "I will never be young again."

After ten years, I still have not come to terms with the events that transpired that day. It feels foolish for me to say that, I was living in Iowa and I did not know anyone who was directly affected by the attack at that time. I was so far removed from the events, but ten years later I am still taken aback by memories of that day. I do not live in fear, and it is hard to put into words. But Ms. Clarke's reference sums it up well. Something was taken from all of us that day. We are forever connected to the memories of that horrific day. Even those of us who did not suffer a direct loss of a loved one, we are not the same people we were on September 10, 2001.

A few weeks ago, a coworker walked into the office in the morning, visibly shaken. She had taken the commuter train into Washington, D.C., as she does every day. She was hesitant to admit what was bothering her, but she whispered very softly what had happened on the train that morning. She spoke quietly for fear of being overheard, and she told me the reason she was so shaken. She said she was on the train sitting next to a Muslim man with a full beard and he was holding prayer beads. She noticed this right away and sat down next to the quiet man and reprimanded herself for the immediate mental connection she made to Muslim terrorists on 9/11. Then, the man gripped his beads and began to pray quietly. She noticed the large duffel bag at his feet. She sat next to him and became more uncomfortable as he rocked in his seat, put his face in his hands, looked up to the sky, and prayed much more actively. At this point she felt very afraid. As she told the story, she was puzzled by emotions - is she a bigot? Is she intolerant? She knew it was the holy month of Ramadan at that time, but it was also days after an unexpected earthquake and days before a hurricane was expected to hit the area. The whole world already seemed to be going crazy and all she could think of was that she was on public transportation in the nation's capital and the man next to her was making his peace with Allah before bombing the train.

She got up and moved to a different train car and struggled with overpowering emotions. She felt bad to have judged someone who she understands was probably just praying during Ramadan. At the same time, if her fears were truly instinctive and he had something suspicious in his bag, she could have neglected to save lives because she erred on the side of political correctness. She asked again if I thought she was a bigot after having told me this. Yet she still had strong feelings from what she witnessed, it felt like a rational fear.

I know her fairly well, and I do not think she is a bigot. I told her so, and I don't think her reaction is her fault. She didn't react that way because of some internal hatred toward Muslims, she reacted that way because her immediate mental connection to Muslims was to stories about terrorist activity. We do not see a lot of representation of moderate Muslims in our culture. Muslim representations are now what Soviets were during the Cold War. I told her that if she would have alerted a conductor and had the entire train offloaded and delayed everyone's commute while the man's parcels were searched, simply because he was praying in public, then she could be headed down the road of intolerance. She didn't do anything about it, but she was afraid and struggled with the "what if" feeling of the possibility that her fears were not unfounded and the danger was real. She struggled with her emotions for the entire day, but I think that her concerns would have been a common reaction among many non-Muslim Americans in the post-9/11 world.

On Tuesday, Muslim author Irshad Manji was interviewed on MSNBC's Morning Joe. Thoughts of my coworker's experience filled my head as she spoke of "the most dangerous four letter f-word in the English language: Fear." She continues,

I see among broad-hearted Americans (non-Muslim), FEAR about asking questions of Muslims and Islam because they are afraid of being judged as bigots for doing so. And I see among liberal Muslims like myself, fear of going on the record about our views b/c we fear either of being called traitors by Islam supremacists, or “terrorists-in-waiting” by Islam bashers. So you can see that there are layers of fright all over the place and frankly, I think the next ten years need to be about reconciliation but not just between Muslims and non-Muslims, also between honesty and conversation. If we can’t have honest conversations in which you guys are allowed as non-Muslims to raise uncomfortable questions, then we’re never going to get to the root of what it takes to reconcile.

While I never expect to fully be able to contemplate the events of 9/11 or the effect they have had on the world, I owe a debt of gratitude to people like Irshad Manji, and the panelists who spoke tonight of their experiences. It is true that we will never be young again, but we still have plenty of room to grow as a country. In the days after 9/11, Americans were united in ways I have not seen before or since. Charles Gibson mentioned that his daughter was a few blocks from the World Trade Center and she witnessed countless acts of kindness and humanity as people helped one another through the fog of debris. Ten years later, it is incumbent upon us to help one another through the residual fog of fear.

Her name is not really Sally

The management at my part-time job has been on a hiring frenzy lately. Between back-to-school shoppers and the upcoming holiday season, they have decided to nearly double the size of the staff. It has been a bit of a challenge to learn everyone’s name. I've started to call everyone by the name Sally.

One thing I have learned after 10+ years in retail – Don’t get too attached to coworkers. They come and go pretty quickly and there’s an awkward breaking-in period. Just when you get used to bonding with the same people, they move on and are replaced by new hires. The new Sallies always ask a lot of questions. I think it’s important that they know where the bathroom is, the rest they can figure out on their own. I’m not a complete jerk, but generally I don’t go out of my way to be nice to Sallies.

These days, a lot of the new employees are over-qualified victims of a bad economy. Some of them will tell you upon your first encounter, “I have a degree in engineering. This is only temporary for me.” Others you can assume by the look of contempt on their face that they are clearly taking a position below their intended path in life.

But then, who isn’t? Everyone is underpaid and it is the rare individual who is fortunate enough to find themselves 100% fulfilled, challenged and compensated. It just doesn’t happen very often. Most of us fall into a sliding scale of acceptance of what we do for a living versus our dream job.

Over the weekend, I worked with three people I had never met before. After working a busy cashwrap with one such person, I was struck by how comfortable she seemed and how effortlessly she interacted with customers. She didn’t have any questions and seemed completely in her element. When we caught a free moment, she formally introduced herself, “I’m Sally, by the way.” This was after we had been working side-by-side for 30 minutes. Most of us sneak a peak at a nametag when we’re learning names, but I appreciated the friendly gesture.

We chatted a bit and I was surprised to find that despite her apparent expertise, she’d only worked there a month. She said she had been working in several different departments within the store that she didn’t like as well. She quickly clarified, “Don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy to have a job in a bookstore. This is a nice place to work; I just enjoy some departments more than others. Well actually... I’m just happy to work. Period. I moved here to live with my mom after I graduated and wasn’t sure if I’d find anything, so this is great. I’m very happy to be here.”

For a moment, I thought maybe she meant that she had just graduated from high school. Not because she looked that young, but because she was so upbeat about working at the bookstore after graduation. There is a different tone that is generally used by recent college grads to convey this information. I am accustomed to the undertone that says, “This is not what I had in mind when I spent years of my life and thousands of dollars on an education.” Her tone did not imply anything at all. Everything she said came across at face value – I’m happy to have a job. Things could be much worse.

Her peculiar optimism led me down a line of questioning that confirmed she had just graduated from college, at a school in the same conference as my Alma mater (Go Big Ten! (except Michigan)!!) Her mother is currently living in the DC Metro area, so she moved in with her mom and has been sending out her resume in DC and got this new job with the recent hiring blitz.

She admitted that her situation was not ideal. She would like to have a job in her field and earn more money. She doesn't want to sleep on an air mattress in her mother's small apartment forever, but for now - she's able to contribute and she's willing to work hard to move up. She'll work hard while she's at the store. Whatever she's doing, she does her best to make herself invaluable. That's the best way to work her way up. And she's happy to have a job, that's the first hurdle.

These are all her assertions, not mine. And she continued on about her situation without an ounce of cynicism. I was stunned. Sure, we all remind ourselves that things could be worse - but that's usually after feeling sorry for ourselves for a while. This girl still had the ambition of a recent college grad - despite taking a less-than-ideal job, despite the air mattress, despite the compromised hourly wage. I was impressed. I told her I knew a few people and would pass her name along for potential entry-level jobs.

And on Monday morning, that's exactly what I did. Now, you should know, I'm not usually any more proactive about job referrals than I am at introducing myself to new coworkers. If your Facebook page is updated constantly throughout your work day with new YouTube videos, I'm not a good person to come to for a reference. I would never suggest someone for a job unless I was confident that they would work out. Yet, Monday morning, there I was sending off multiple emails to anyone who may have entry-level office positions that pay more than what Sally is making now. And I don't even know her.

I sent an email to a friend working for a placement agency and she said she will contact Sally about possible administrative positions, based on my "glowing referral". It was at that point I realized how much I have taken for granted. Can this girl even type? I assume so. She pushed the buttons on the cash registers quite efficiently. It is a safe assumption that anyone with a liberal arts degree has experience in writing and typing papers, using the Microsoft Office suite, and using multiple databases and research materials. But it is still an assumption.

What is it about her that makes me not only wish her well, but actively put forth the effort, despite any knowledge of her qualifications? I only spent an hour with her, some of it while at work and some in the breakroom (we didn't have the entire conversation on the sales floor. Give us some credit!) I was really inspired by her positive attitude and her work ethic. It wasn't just to help her out, but felt like I was helping anyone who is fortunate enough to employ her. Who wouldn't love to have an employee with that kind of attitude and ambition? That's really all I was thinking of when I spread the word about this great potential employee. Clearly I wasn't thinking about any skills or experience, because I don't have a clue what kind of experience she has. Perhaps I should have asked a few more questions before boasting about her.

I wish I could end this story with a happily-ever-after, that one of my friends hired her and now she's worked her way up and is running the company. That would be impressive since it's only been three days. I'll give her a little more time and keep you updated. Whatever happens, I'm sure she'll land on her feet. And I hope she never loses that great attitude. But I'm still not going to get too attached to her. There will be a new Sally next weekend. I'm sure of that.

Post-quake pics

The earthquake this afternoon seems very anti-climactic now that I've heard from so many people across the country who learned about it on the news. By the time my coworkers and I figured out what was happening, it was over. The only exception was one coworker who has lived on the west coast who instinctively said, "It's an earthquake! I'm getting under my desk." and she immediately vanished into thin air. That took all of a few moments and the next few hours were spent like this:

The folks who drive to work were unable to leave because no one was able to enter the parking ramp until it was deemed safe. I considered taking the rest of the afternoon off, then I looked around and imagined the same crowd in the Metro station, which is exactly what I would have been met with. So we continued to wait.

Traffic became gridlocked as far as the eye could see and emergency vehicles showed up along the block. Every employee stood outside of their buildings in varying levels of panic. The defining moment of the afternoon happened when one employee took a close look at the emergency vehicles and said, "It's going to be okay, everyone. It's going to be okay. The Printing Police are here!!"

Upon closer examination:

No disrespect, but we do not work for the GPO, nor do we have any association with them. I can't even name all of the different police forces we have in this city, but I'm guessing on the hierarchy of important people, the GPO force doesn't get deployed to the VIP section of town. That's all I'm sayin'.

In the end, most people I know had a similar experience and we are all lucky to be safe and sound with a new story to tell. As I took these photos, a coworker complimented me on "keeping my cool throughout" and wandering around taking photos while the smokers were on their fifth cigarette and the non-smokers were bumming cigarettes from the smokers. I reject this compliment because sometimes I think that it is stupidity that keeps someone cool in a potentially dangerous situation. I blame it on my childhood. I grew up in a house next to the railroad tracks, so shaking buildings do not trigger any panic reflex. But I still always wonder if I would have taped the penny to the tracks, would it really have derailed a train and killed everyone on board like my brother told me? I'm pretty sure he was lying, but that was one I opted to err on the side of caution rather than call his bluff. Plus, you could still buy one Swedish Fish for a penny back in those days so that seemed like a better investment.

I think I'll eat some Swedish Fish right now and start surfing the internet for some earthquake stories more interesting than mine.

My favorite atheist

Penn Jillette was at Lisner Auditorium this evening to promote his new book, God No!: Signs You May Already Be an Atheist and Other Magical Tales. I am a big fan of his Showtime program, Penn & Teller: Bullshit! and I've always admired the guy for being open-minded and outspoken. These are two qualities that rarely go together, but make for a powerful combination.

Open-minded people (and Jillette is no exception) as a general rule, openly and respectfully accept other peoples' beliefs - even when they are contrary to their own. They welcome the opinions of others and are willing to concede that they are not always right. This quality does not often run hand-in-hand with being opinionated and outspoken. The outspoken people are generally the ones who are absolute and unyielding in their beliefs. In any forum, it always seems to be the extremes on either side of an argument that are given the most attention. America loves the crazies. Unfortunately, the voices of the extremes often drown out the masses, who are generally in the middle. Certainly this is true in politics where the far left and the far right battle it out, while America is forced to choose the candidate that they find least objectionable. I see this drowning-out of moderate voices first-hand living in DC. There are often protests on the National Mall and thousands of people march and hold signs supporting their cause. Yet, the protest signs that make their way onto television are the photos with Hitler mustaches, or anything that seems in any way extreme or offensive. Those are the representations that are shown. Meanwhile, the masses of people who are holding boring signs that say, "Down with [that bad thing I'm here to protest]" do not make their way into the national consciousness. Most of us fall into that middle, boring category. While Penn Jillette is open-minded, he is far from boring. At 6-foot-7 with a commanding voice, he is hard to overlook; which is good because he brings forth an important message.

The book focuses on his atheist beliefs, but for me it is not his atheist beliefs nor his libertarian beliefs that make him an important voice. It is his unique ability to understand perspective.

I have an atheist friend who gets very upset when someone says to him, "God bless you," or "I will pray for you." He gets genuinely pissed off. To him, the other person is projecting their beliefs onto him. They are making an assumption about him and he rejects their prayers. Jillette, on the other hand, understands that the person is speaking from their own beliefs system. He explained his understanding that if someone believes that a saved soul will go on to everlasting life, it would be like watching someone standing in the middle of the railroad tracks. If you saw an oncoming train, you would do everything you could to persuade them to move out of the way. Even if they said, "There is no train coming. I don't believe there is a train. Richard Dawkins says there's no train," you would still do everything you can to save the person from the oncoming collision. He makes this comparison to Christians and proselytizing. They are speaking from their own understanding of the world. Unlike my friend, he sees this for what it is - a caring gesture. Certainly one that he does not appreciate in the way that they would like him to, but the gesture itself he can identify as coming from a place of caring.

One thing that drives me crazy about many atheists (including my friend and also Bill Maher, who is not my friend but I watch his HBO program) is their condescension toward religious people or believers. This is where Penn Jillette is exceptional because although he has strong beliefs, he also allows everyone else to be entitled to their own beliefs. He acknowledges that there is a fine line between having a civilized debate and stating the facts as you understand them, versus trying to manipulate an argument in an effort to win someone over to your side. His approach is to have a civil conversation and exchange ideas, not to disregard everything the other person says and try to bring them over to your side. This is how most debates seem to go, and it is sad. I wholeheartedly embrace Jillette's philosophy. It is the exchange of ideas that bring progress, not reiteration and condescension toward those who do not believe as you do. That form of communication does not solve problems or change anyone's mind, it simply ends in an uncompromising stalemate. [See: United States Congress]

Mr. Jillette seemed to speak off-the-cuff, but when you pay attention, you notice some very carefully-chosen words. A few times when speaking about stating facts or "the truth," he always followed it up with, "as they/I understand it." That is an important distinction that you rarely hear acknowledged. When people speak the truth or state facts to back up an argument, they are facts or truth as they understand them. Everyone understands the world based on their own personal experience. So it is possible for two people to have an argument and both be stating facts as they understand them, or the truth as they know it, but remain in complete conflict and disagreement. It doesn't always mean that one party is wrong and the other is right. We are all individuals, and just because someone's understanding of life does not match your own, it doesn't make their viewpoint any less valid. Just different. All we can do is respect one another's opinion and perhaps enlighten someone by communicating our own understanding; or agree to respectfully disagree. There are many things that Jillette spoke about that he disagreed with but did not condescend or disparage. To some it may have sounded like he was defending them, but it was something far more civilized than defense of another argument. He respectfully disagreed with many things, and that is something I do not hear often enough.

The good news of the evening was that although there will not be a new season of Penn & Teller: Bullshit!, the duo has a new show coming out soon. It will be on the Discovery Channel (or, the Disco Channel as he would like everyone to refer to it, since that is how it appears on his TV menu.)